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Wenn einer eine Reise tut

von Frank Scheller

Im Dunkel der Nacht kann man gut reisen. Begeben Sie sich dorthin, wo sich Fuchs und Hase gute Nacht sagen - nach Australien. Im Flugzeug, über den Wolken, funkeln die Sterne besonders.

Nur noch ein paar Tage dann geht es los, ich wandere da hin aus wo sich Fuchs und Hase gute Nacht sagen und die Welt auf dem Kopf steht. Aber ich meine nicht Sachsen, nein, ich meine Australien. Ein Land in dem sie angeblich aus toten Kängurus Apfeltaschen machen und der Schiedsrichter Sonne so gnadenlos fair durch das Ozonloch pfeift, dass man nach ein paar Minuten ohne Sonnenschutz aussieht wie der Frontman von „Lordi“. Ob ich nervös bin? Wie die Betreiber eines all you can eat Buffets bei dem Besuch von Rainer Callmund. Schließlich habe ich nicht das, was man so schön eine „Aufenthaltsgenehmigung“ nennt. Aber ich habe etwas Besseres. Ich habe einen Plan. Einen Plan der so ausgefuchst ist, dass ich Angst davor haben muss keine Tollwut zu bekommen wenn ich an ihn denke. Es gibt nämlich eine Lücke in den australischen Visumsbestimmungen die so eng ist, dass es wirklich nur die wieselflinken schaffen hindurch zu schlüpfen. Aber dazu werde ich mich noch mal genauer äußern, wenn ich mich in knapp einem Monat nicht mit Handschellen an eine Flugzeugtoilette gefesselt auf den Weg nach Hause befinde und mir kein Schild um den Hals gehängt wurde auf dem steht„Für wie dumm haben sie die australischen Behörden gehalten?“. Meine Vorbereitungen an sich sind so gut wie abgeschlossen. Mein Trolley ist tiefer gelegt, ich habe mich gegen Koala-, Krokodil-, Schlangen- und Kängurubisse impfen lassen und damit ich nicht sofort zu Staub zerfalle, wenn mich die australische Sonne in die Knie zwingen will, trinke ich seit Tagen meinen Kakao nur noch aus frischer Sonnenmilch. Es ist also an alles gedacht. Na ja, fast. Fehlen mir ja nur noch ein Job, eine Wohnung und rosige Zukunftsaussichten. Aber das kann ich auch nicht so schwer sein. Werde am Zoll auf jeden Fall erstmal nach meinem Begrüßungsgeld fragen. Ich sage bescheid wie es gelaufen ist.

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Kurzfassung

Ausreisen, aber wohin? Auf jeden Fall: wenn, dann richtig. Also geht es nach Australien. Mit Insider-Tipps zum Visum und Känguruhbissimpfung im Gepäck kann es losgehen.

Podcast

Frank Scheller

erzählt in seinem weblog, warum er Rechtschreibfehler liebt.

mindestens haltbar 11/2006
Jahrgang 02
Ausgabe 18
ISSN 1816-8159
Autor: Frank Scheller
Titel: Wenn einer eine Reise tut
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Dieser Text ist unter einer Creative Commons-Lizenz lizenziert.

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