Wenn Sie jetzt Schluckauf haben, denke ich gerade an Sie!

von miss.understood
Wenn man morgens mal verschlafen hat oder aber, so wie ich, sich mal wieder im Badezimmer vertrödelt hat, dann ist die U-Bahn „die wiedermal ewig nicht daher kam“ die passende Ausrede. Am besten hängt man gleich ein „habt ihr von der dicken Frau gehört, die lebendig von der U-Bahn eingequetscht wurde und erst zu Tode gewutzelt wurde, als der Zug dann losfuhr“ an. Urbane Mythen versüßen uns den Alltag nicht nur, sie retten ihn auch manchmal. Manchmal erschrecken oder ermuntern sie uns allerdings auch und verzweifelte Eltern greifen besonders gerne auf diese Art von Ausreden zurück. Wem wurde als Kind schließlich nie geraten das schielen bleiben zu lassen, weil sonst die Augen stecken bleiben.

Nicht immer basieren urbane Mythen auf dreisten Lügen, nein, manchmal entsteht so was auch durch einen schlichten Irrtum. „Spinat strotzt nur so vor Eisen“ war zwar gut gemeint, aber ein Komma an der falschen Stelle hilft dem Körper allerdings nur selten wirklich. Dennoch müssen ganze Heerscharen von Kindergartenkindern heute immer noch Spinat essen, wenn sie groß und stark werden und außerdem die Tante nicht verärgern wollen. Und dass die Teflonpfanne ein Nebenprodukt der Weltraumforschung ist, war, das nehme ich jetzt einfach mal ganz stark an, die gewitzte Idee einer Marketingfirma. Eine Pfanne an der nichts haften bleibt ? Muss ein Werk des Teufels oder der NASA sein, ganz klar.

Urbane Mythen mussten zu früheren Zeiten noch mündlich überliefert werden, heute gibt es das Internet und das verbreiten von Geschichten über Krokodile in der Kanalisation kann heute viel effizienter und weltweit betrieben werden. Und natürlich bietet das Internet auch genügend Spielraum für seine eignen Mythen. Alleine in meinem Umfeld kenne ich vier Personen, die von einem absoluten Traumpaar zu berichten wissen, welches sich selbstverständlich über das fabelhafte Internet kennen und lieben gelernt haben. Von diesen vier Personen kennt niemand das Pärchen oder auch nur einen Part davon persönlich, doch der Freund eines Freundes schwört, dass der Cousin seines Schwagers regelmäßig von einem Fahrradboten beliefert wird und der wiederum hat einen Kollegen in der Zentrale der die beiden kennt. Ich persönliche kenne niemanden der auf diese Art und Weise auf die große Liebe seines Lebens gestoßen ist, was nicht bedeutet, dass es nicht doch passieren kann. Und genau deshalb mögen Menschen diese kleinen unglaublichen Geschichten auch so gerne. Wir möchten gerne glauben, dass wir nie wissen können, wann und wie uns die Liebe über den Weg läuft und das alleine lässt ja schon wieder hoffen.

Auf Killerphytons im Stadtpark hofft man nicht unbedingt, aber spannend wäre es natürlich schon. Muss man nicht selbst erleben, reicht vollkommen, davon zu hören. Aber eine gute Geschichte allemal. Natürlich wünscht sich auch niemand, einen abgetrennten Daumen in der eben bei Mc Donalds erstandenen Apfeltasche anzuknabbern, aber je ekliger die Geschichte, desto mehr amüsiert sie uns. Moderne Legenden sind eine hervorragende Art des Entertainments, wichtig ist dabei immer nur, dass es keiner nahe stehenden oder einem anwesenden bekannten Person passiert ist. Weil man sich sonst über die Brechreiz erzeugenden Erlebnisse anderer nicht von Herzen freuen kann. Deshalb nenne die Amis ihre urbanen Mythen auch „foaf-tales“. (friend of a friend)

Und wenn doch bekannt, dann bitte richtig. Paris Hilton kann ruhig ein Auge aus ihrem Diet Coke entgegen blinzeln, das wäre in Ordnung. Mein Vater fand übrigens mal einen Zahn in einem Punschkrapfen und das, obwohl ihm kein eigener Zahn spontan abhanden gekommen war. Er hat sich auch am nächsten Tag bei der Bäckerei beschwert, einen Gutschein für zwei weitere Punschkrapfen erhalten und diese Geschichte stimmt jetzt aber wirklich. Ich schwöre.

Urbane Mythen bereichern unser Leben ungemein, machen den tristen Alltag ein wenig lebendiger, lustiger und spannender. Übrigens, wenn sie mindestens haltbar lesen und nicht innerhalb von zehn Minuten an ihre 20 besten Freunde weiterempfehlen, werden Ihren Haare bis morgen Früh ergrauen, verpassen lebenslänglich den Bus und wenn Sie schon länger als zweieinhalb Sekunden auf dieser Seite verweilen haben Sie sich außerdem gerade einen Virus eingefangen.
Urbane Mythen wo man hinsieht. Doch woher weiß man, dass ein Mythos auch wirklich nur ein Mythos und nicht die blanke Wahrheit ist?
Sie lebt in Wien und wird dort im Alleingang von ihrem Sohn grossgezogen. Sie wird bald dreissig, kann sich Pommes leisten und hat die Haare schön.
Die immer wiederkehrenden Themen in ihrem Leben sind Musik, Männer und Zigaretten und zwar genau in der Reihen-
folge. Ausserdem mag sie Kofferfische und Seepferdchen. Kofferfische wegen der Lippen und Seepferdchen aus einem anderen Grund.

Weblog von miss.understood
mindestens haltbar 11/2005
Jahrgang 01
Ausgabe 03
ISSN 1816-8159
Autor: miss.understood
Titel: Wenn Sie jetzt Schluckauf haben, denke ich gerade an Sie!
Metadaten im BibTeX Format
Creative Commons-Lizenzvertrag

Dieser Text ist unter einer Creative Commons-Lizenz lizenziert.


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